is seriously the worst. my communication has been off with plenty of people in my life, especially within the last 24 hours. and especially with my boyfriend who i've always been happy with and never questioned. now i am.
everyone i was around today was off...slow, bad mood, bad news, lack of communication with important people, no energy whatsoever, just ready for the day to end. at boot camp only 5 people showed up! i was 80% not going to go after waking up, but i finally pushed myself out of bed. work was soooo long. ugh. not talking with will was really hard. but i don't know. it's like talking doesn't matter anyways because we are getting no where. it's so hard to get him to talk sometimes, i wonder how long i can go on like that, being the expressive person that i am most of the time and depending on an open flow of communication with people closest to me.
i love him. i think he's awesome. i truly wish him the best in the world, and hope to be that someday, but this is so frustrating...
thankful for the customer that shed some light on this situation. if anything else, these last 4 days of mercury in retrograde can't end soon enough. i'm totally blaming everything going on in the world on this. ha. who cares
Monday, August 22, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Defeat
Defeat, my Defeat, my solitude and my aloofness;
You are dearer to me than a thousand triumphs,
And sweeter to my heart than all worldglory.
Defeat, my Defeat, my self-knowledge and my defiance,
Through you I know that I am yet young and swift of foot
And not to be trapped by withering laurels.
And in you I have found aloneness
And the joy of being shunned and scorned.
Defeat, my Defeat, my shining sword and shield,
In your eyes I have read
That to be enthroned is to be enslaved,
And to be understood is to be levelled down,
And to be grasped is but to reach one's fulness
And like a ripe fruit to fall and be consumed.
Defeat, my Defeat, my bold companion,
You shall hear my songs and my cries and my silences,
And none but you shall speak to me of the beating of wings,
And urging of seas,
And of mountains that burn in the night,
And you alone shall climb my steep and rocky soul.
Defeat, my Defeat, my deathless courage,
You and I shall laugh together with the storm,
And together we shall dig graves for all that die in us,
And we shall stand in the sun with a will,
And we shall be dangerous.
-Kahlil Gibran
The Madman
You are dearer to me than a thousand triumphs,
And sweeter to my heart than all worldglory.
Defeat, my Defeat, my self-knowledge and my defiance,
Through you I know that I am yet young and swift of foot
And not to be trapped by withering laurels.
And in you I have found aloneness
And the joy of being shunned and scorned.
Defeat, my Defeat, my shining sword and shield,
In your eyes I have read
That to be enthroned is to be enslaved,
And to be understood is to be levelled down,
And to be grasped is but to reach one's fulness
And like a ripe fruit to fall and be consumed.
Defeat, my Defeat, my bold companion,
You shall hear my songs and my cries and my silences,
And none but you shall speak to me of the beating of wings,
And urging of seas,
And of mountains that burn in the night,
And you alone shall climb my steep and rocky soul.
Defeat, my Defeat, my deathless courage,
You and I shall laugh together with the storm,
And together we shall dig graves for all that die in us,
And we shall stand in the sun with a will,
And we shall be dangerous.
-Kahlil Gibran
The Madman
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