recently i've noticed that essentially, i'm just blogging about what i've been doing since the move out west. so while that might cure some of the curiosity of my "followers", i think i should write about how i'm feeling out here at least once in a while.
i wanted to wait it out until the initial honeymoon happiness perspective got slightly closer to a realistic one, and i needed at least one day where i wasn't completely happy or stable minded, and that came last sunday. it was nothing more than the first rainy weather day here, so i was pretty much stuck inside, which was no fun for me.
BTW-went to Ween at the Wiltern in LA Saturday night. BEST show. So awesome, great night that most definitely exceeded our expectations (Mae and I). But this is about how i'm feeling...focusss
so now that i feel i've had close to a full cycle of emotion (personal pattern: 28ish days--hey, that's pretty stable for some. work in progress)....this is how i am feeling about the overall move, it's ups and downs:
santa monica: love it. so much. i would stay here forever if it wasn't so far away from my home base. still need to knock asheville and a few other places off the list as well. thoroughly enjoying my time out here and feel as if it is right for me at this time.
job: i really enjoy working as a server @ pizza fusion! my co-workers are great, i meet cool people there, making good tips for the most part, and most importantly--Pizza Fusion is such a great company with high health and ethical standards. i've always crossed my fingers that any company i worked for in the future would have good moral direction and operate with the well-being of society and the environment in constant check.
friends: don't necessarilly grow on trees here! made a couple of friends, and get along with people great. a customer the other day that has been here for a few years with her husband said that she gets the idea that it takes about 5 years to establish worthwhile friendships out here (due to traffic, different homebase areas, busy work schedules, families, etc.). that's a lot, but i get it. not really looking to socialize too much here, though. it's nice not being tempted to go out and drink every night. also, i've got mae & austin, and frank, and they have been great friends to me so i am pretty much content with friends, although a few more never hurts :)
statesboro: miss it, but overall happy i'm not currently writing this blog from there. it would consist of: tonight i went to [dingus/kbobs/elsom...ooh shit i miss el som, truth] and it was [fun,stupid,expensive,nice,ok,blackout]. on repeat. so...glad i'm in a new place but i do miss all of those places occassionally! OH and i'm sad i'm missing a bunch of great shows in the southeast this spring. enjoy it you crazy awesome southerners....meerrr!
friends&fam: miss you guys so much. sooo freakin much. this is obviously the hardest part. i missed you guys a lot on sunday. idk, rain in SM was not a cute look for me. i was hurting for you guys!
today my heart is exceptionally heavy for belle anne. her dad has been very sick lately, and it is increasingly looking worse. today it really hit me...i can't imagine belle anne's face after loosing jay, i really can't. i sat outside, cried, and directed as much energy as i could towards wishing for a healthy comeback for Jay Bowen. what is so enjoyable about knowing and caring for belle anne is her joy filled and child like energy and smile. she has the most happy and carefree spirit that you immediately recognize when being around her and being her friend. i believe being blessed with Jay as her father really makes that come out in her. she doesn't have to worry about anything, because she's got Jay in the end. i don't think that will change, no matter what his physical state is. Memories they've made as a father & daughter will be with belle anne and jenny forever, and those memories are ones that not everyone on this earth are guaranteed to experience and own. the bowen's are a beautiful family, like one of those generation after generation, strong & beautiful families. i was with belle anne when her "big daddy" [grandpa] died, and it was emotional as well, but the bowen's and olliff's find strength in each other and it's a beautiful thing to witness. i feel lucky to have known a lot of them over the years. i love you belle-anne, i will be thinking of you until i can see you later this month.
current musical addiction: the devil makes three. recent discovery that makes me wish i had my car, or that my bike had a radio.
No comments:
Post a Comment